Who is the business leaders/great managers best friend?

As some of the more frequent readers will recall, I am working on my doctorate degree. Some may actually ask: “Will he ever finish?”

I have asked myself that same question and lately it actually looks like I might after all. Before I get into the real dissertation phase, I have to work on creating an idea, kind of like an outline, describing what I ma actually trying to study.

As someone who is fascinated by coaching and the improvements a coach can trigger in a person, I want to make coaching part of this important work. During a recent conversation with my advisor, we looked at my plans and what a possible title could be. Though we haven’t settled on anything, the position of a coach as the best friend of a leader received a lot of focus.

You may know that many of the more recent and best selling business books have described the work of a leader as something much different than most people would think. There isn’t much natural born charisma at work (in most cases). There isn’t much old patriarch or dictator-behavior anymore. Instead we find humble servants to the organization, as Jim Collins describes them in his book “Good to Great”.

In other publications we find the need of focus by the leader, as described by Jody Gittel in “The Southwest Airlines Way”. This particular focus is on customer services, as we all know about Southwest Airlines.

Thomas Friedman, Steve Farber, John Kotter, and many others talk about the engagement a leader needs to affect change in the organization and move it forward while constantly adjusting to changing market situations and customer demands.

What many experts seem to agree on is the statement: “It’s lonely at the top”

The discussion with my mentor lead to the suggestion to take a look at the book by Buckingham and Coffman, titled: “First break all the rules”

As a good student, I did and found an interesting list of questions and key secrets for great managers and leaders the authors developed. The questions serve as a measure about how well the employees in an organization have been selected. That directly leads to how long they stay and how satisfied they are. The book claims that this is much more important than pay, leave, or any of the more common issues of employment.

The 4 key secrets about a great manager determine the kind of person it takes to reach this accolade. It appears to me that the authors use the word manager synonymous with the word leader. I personally don’t agree that the two terms should be used in this way, but for the purpose of this description, I am sure we can live with it

Here are the 4 secret keys from the book “First break all the rules”:

1. Select for talent - the authors define talent as “recurring patterns of behavior” and state that great managers find the match between talents and roles. 
2. Define the right outcomes - managers needs to turn talent into performance. This can be done by defining the right outcomes and letting people find their own route toward the outcomes. 
3. Focus on strengths - managers need to concentrate on strengths and not on weaknesses. 
4. Find the Right Fit - managers need to assign roles to employees that give the employees the greatest chance of success.

Next comes the list of questions for employees:

1. Do I know what is expected of me at work? 
2. Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right? 
3. At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day? 
4. In the last seven days, have I received recognition or praise for good work? 
5. Does my supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about me as a person? 
6. Is there someone at work who encourages my development? 
7. At work, do my opinions seem to count? 
8. Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel like my work is important? 
9. Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work? 
10. Do I have a best friend at work? 
11. In the last six months, have I talked with someone about my progress? 
12. At work, have I had the opportunities to learn and grow?”

You might ask yourself, why I am showing you these lists of secrets and questions. Well, one reason is to educate and expand understanding. The other is question # 10.

I believe the question about the best friend at work will not only be asked for employees, but also for managers and leaders. I haven’t finished coming up with a complete and solid definition of a best friend, but here are some of the attributes I believe belong into this definition:

• A best friend know details about the other persons life
• A best friend has (relatively) free access to the other person 
• A best friend wants to help the other person, independent of politics or other inhibitors (like money, status, etc)
• A best friend can say pretty much anything to the other person (good and bad things, honest feedback, unimpeded perspectives)
• A best friend gives the other person warnings when things seem to go in the wrong direction
• A best friend sticks with the other person even in challenging times
• A best friend has empathy and genuinely cares on a factual and emotional level for the other person
• A best friend doesn’t differentiate between work and private life – every topic is acceptable
• A best friend is a confidant, protecting insights as much as the other person itself
• A best friend is available to the other person no matter what

There are probably a number of other items that should go on the list. I would actually enjoy receiving lots of feedback on more things that define a best friend.

When it comes to my topic of the coach as the possible best friend of the leader, a lot of the things on the list apply. Especially the fact that both positive and negative things can be openly discussed, that no topic is off limits, and that the coach doesn’t have a personal, financial, or work/promotion related agenda appear to be very relevant

Not in this article, but at some other time it might be worth analyzing what this means for the idea of internal coaching versus traditional, external coaching. I leave it with a question for now: ‘Can a co-worker, potentially in a higher position, ever really become a credible coach in the sense of a best friend described above?’

I will keep looking at the role of a coach serving a leader or great manager Let me know what your thoughts are and what your criteria of a best friend would be.

Axel Meierhoefer, AMC LLC