Are you afraid of the Boogie Man?

If you see your boss as such a creature, keep reading and learn what you can do about it. If you are the boss and suspect that people see you like this, or you are in charge but still have a boss above you (at work or at home), take a look why people might see you in this role and what you can do about it. If youa re neither, just come along for the ride – it’s FREE

When we are looking into the modern work place we find a lot of dissatisfaction. Some of it is probably caused by an economy in recession, rising cost of resources, like fuel, the collapse of the housing market, and other factors.

When taking a closer look we find that many individuals are actually unhappy for much longer than any of these recent phenomena have been around.

Are you one of the people who see their boss to some extent like the Boogie Man? If you are not sure, ask yourself if you would leave work whenever you feel you are not 100% productive or have better things to do. If that thought makes you feel uncomfortable, you are probably a member of the growing league of people practicing “presenteeism. Jim Loehr of the Human Performance Institute describes it like this:

“Many people who show up for work are present rather than absent, but they do so in a fog. In fact, “presenteeism” – putting in an appearance no matter how counterproductive – may be a much costlier problem than its productivity reducing counterpart, absenteeism, and potentially more lethal because it’s not as obvious”.

I agree with Jim. Jjust being around and being seen doesn’t help the organization. If you combine this being around with a bad attitude because you don’t really want to be there, it’s even worse. Now people dread to approach you, talk to you, or ask anything, because they fear you might react negatively.

The Pareto-principle comes to mind. It says that 80% of efficiency is achieved with 20% of the effort. Taking this for granted, and I assume we can all agree, we could actually get the vast majority of our work done when we use our most productive time, those 20% when we are ‘in the zone’, to complete what we need to achieve.

Besides being much more productive, these times are the few moments when work is actually fun.

Patrick Lencioni of The Table Group, says: The primary driver of job dissatisfaction is not the pay or benefits, but poor relationships with supervisors. Three out of four employees dislike their work, and such widespread dissatisfaction kills morale and productivity, and drives up the cost of recruiting, hiring, and retaining new employees.”

So what do we do if we don’t really like what we currently do every day to earn a living? Well., if you are an employee in a lower position, you first want to ask yourself what brought you to the job in the first place. If your answer is anything like: I needed to make some money. – or I needed to change and this was the first thing that came along. Or It appeared to be interesting, but it turned out to be something much different than I expected.

In any of these cases, you need to take some time, try to find out what you are really passionate about and what your goals are. If they don’t match what you are currently doing, you should try to find out what you are passionate about. You should also take a piece of paper and write down where you see yourself in 2 years, what you want to accomplish, how much it will cost and where it will be. Some people actually recommend to find pictures of the items in magazines, cut them out and put them on a “Dream Board”. That way you see what you want to achieve. A performance coach can help you with this process and guide you towards your goals.

If you are in supervisor or leadership role, you have to ask yourself if the lack of good relations with your team and employees isn’t caused by some of the following reasons:

• Slavery to communication and hiring rules – this happen especially when interviewing, but often for quiet some time after, when you don’t want to bring up any personal issues because there have been so many law suits against employers. It’s called professional communication, but it is impersonal and employees don’t like it.

• Every day is a new day syndrome – this happens as a sign that you don’t recall how it was to be working for a supervisor who is all business and doesn’t seem to care about the person within the employee.

• Appearance of weakness – this happens when you think that showing emotions and empathy make you appear touchy-feely instead of strong. It goes back to the beginnings of the industrial age and a very sad reality. We should have overcome this fear a long time ago, but in may organizations, and especially for men, it si still hard to show emotions. Even our language is twisted in that direction. We call it “Letting the guard down”, or “showing the softer side”, always with a negative connotation. I suggest you go for it and show that you are a person with feeling too.

• No time to waste – this is the assumption that every minute is precious and needs to be used for some activity – or at least the appearance of a business activity. I point back towards the Pareto principle. Yu can get your work done in a little over 20% of the time if you have maximum efficiency and effectiveness. All the rest is attendance only.

Overall we all need to first find out what we really like, why we really trade time for money, and if it helps us achieve or goals. If these questions can be answered with a resounding YES, we can refine what we do in the details. I the answer is NO, ou better start looking for an alternative to what you do right now.

The worst thing that can happen ist getting stuck in a place or job you really don’t like – and especially if you see your boss as the Boogie Man. If you are afraid or dread each time you have to interact with him or her, ask yourself why you torture and unish yourself like this? If there isn’t a compelling reason, get out.

What was that? Did you just say: “Easy for you to say or write”! Yes, it’s easy, but I understand that taking action is hard. That’s why I recommend to find a mentor, or a confidant, or a coach (like me), who will help you in the process.

When I give free sample sessions for new clients, here is what we always achieve as a foundation from which to decide if we want to work together:

1.  A clear direction we want to go into, including goals, vision, dreams
2.  A strategic plan of action to take to work our way towards the goals and vision
3.  A list of skills we want to upgrade (leadership skills, sales skills, marketing skills, etc.)
4.  A definition of an optimized environment that will allow us to achieve the goals and how to create it step by step
5.  A plan to master the psychology of the client so that fears, doubts, anxieties can be removed over time and replaced with confidence and ambition

Achieving all these things alone is almost impossible. Doing them together, refining, and achieving them is actually fun. That’s why you want to have a coach or a mentor and take the journey together. It’s more fun, but more importantly, you will actually do it!

Axel Meierhoefer, AMC LLC