Is it going to be a bad day or a good day today? - Just feel it!

Since starting to study Legendary Leadership and leadership in general, I have been wondering if certain things make a huge difference for those people who actually go through a meteoric rise and reach the highest levels in industry, organizations, non-profits or politics.

In the beginning many articles, books and other sources seems to indicate that it all depends on charisma – something one would have to be born with. Then, slowly over the years I learned that leadership, even legendary leadership, can be learned. I agree that there need to be follower to have leaders and a lot of followers to have legendary leaders.

As mentioned before, the main ingredient for anybody to follow a leader is trust. If you can also find some additional fascination, compatible goals, charisma, and a few other things in your superior, so much the better.

If you strive to reach high levels of responsibility and authority and lead others towards common goals, you might want to learn a little about the physiology of our sensory system. I can remember many times when I felt bad right at the beginning of the day, even though very little had happened yet. I didn’t even read any emails, didn’t attend any meetings, or had any conversations with anybody, and still the atmosphere just felt negative.

Have you had situations when you came to a building of a new company, meet a new client company, have a first meeting with a new team and the energy in the place feels hostile, negative, and not very inviting?

I am pretty sure we all have been in this kind of a situation, or something very similar. How do we know if it will be a good day or a bad one? How do we sense if it will be a successful meeting or a boring, dragged out one?

Some of you might say: :”Well, if you attended enough of these meetings and have been in enough of these situations you just have the experience to anticipate what will probably happen.” I am not saying that here isn’t some truth to that. Experience definitely plays a role.

On the other hand, experience can be the reason to be surprised when what we expected to happen based on previous occasions suddenly doesn’t.

As part of the Lengendary Leadership development program I teach and apply in coaching, we go into a lot of detail abut these situation and how to create an environment that fosters positive energy and fun. When you ask most people what they are looking for in their job, positive energy, challenging goals, good relations with co-workers, fun, and a few other things come way before money or any other reason.

So it is not the experience you gained form repetition, how do you know or sense or feel how things are going? Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee looked into this phenomenon (and many others) in their book “Resonant Leadership”. One of the chapters I particularly like and use frequently in seminars, while teaching, and as foundation for coaching is a chapter titled: “Resonance is contagious – and so is dissonance”.

Here is a small passage I like a lot:

We gauge our emotional response on the feelings we notice in the people around us. Our emotions can convey our intentions ot others, thereby enabling smoother communication and interaction. For example, fear may signal the need to mollify, defend, or flee; joy may indicate a chance to share good fortune or a desire for contact and connection. Our bodies respond to emotions in subtle as well as obvious ways; things like facial expressions and tone of voice are fleeting but important signs of the emotions that drive a person’s behavior.

From a conversation with the Dalai Lama the authors cite: “Our bodies tell the truth, and even when we do not intend it, we send messages about our true feelings”. A little later the text goes on to explain: “We are not always conscious of the messages we are sending or receiving about emotions. Nevertheless, we are very good at reading each other. This is likely related to survival mechanisms that have been in place for thousands, if not millions of years.”

This sensory sensitivity exists regardless where there are smells, words, signs, etc. It’s almost as if we can detect the energy emanating form other people. If we know these people and their position in the food chain or hierarchy, it has more or less influence on our reaction.

In a dissertation I read the sentence: “We can watch our leaders and we can smell their emotions a mile away”. Coming back to determining what kid of a day it’s going to be.

In a nutshell, if the leader or supervisor we work for is fearful, frustrated, afraid to make a mistake or being seen as a failure we can sense it and our defense mechanism kicks in. On the other hand, if the leader is optimistic, confident, full of ambitions and positive energy, we feel good and motivated to follow and do whatever we can to achieve the common goals.

Scientifically you can actually measure people blood pressure and prove that they are in the normal range when things go well and in an elevated state when things are not. If you are reading this article and see yourself as a follower, you now have a better understanding what is going on within yourself when you feel good or bad about the new day.

If you are a leader or an aspiring leader, you might want to consider finding ways to put yourself in a state of positive energy, confidence, balanced communication, empathy and caring for everybody you touch and genuine interest in those you lead. The Legendary Leaders development program provides a long list of things you can do to reach this state. For now, try to keep a positive attitude, take a deep breath before talking or making decisions, look for the opportunities in everything you do, and make sure you always see the proverbial glass as half-full.

If you like to learn more or have some comment and experiences about the vibe in a room or building, please let me know via E-mail or on this blog.

Axel Meierhoefer, AMC LLC